Don’t fool yourself! I don’t care how messed up your relationship is with your parents, once they are gone, you will grieve and you need to take time to grieve! Love your parents if they are alive – once they are gone, it’s too late!!
Not that you will stop loving them, but they cannot experience your love when they are gone and you cannot experience theirs!
Many, many days I have wished that my parents were alive!! But we did not get along all the time when they were alive!! My Mother died in 1999, and I didn’t cry at her funeral – didn’t want people seeing me cry!!
About a week or so after her funeral, woke up couldn’t breath and had pains in my chest. I didn’t know what was wrong but I knew I was not having a heart attack!
Long story short, I was able to call 911, they wanted to give me nitroglycerin, but I refused. ER Doctor fussed me out and told me I should not have refused but I knew it was not a heart attack! He asked had anything happened lately that was traumatic. I told him no, and then I said, “Oh wait, my Mom just di…” I didn’t finish my sentence because I started screaming and hollering!! I had not grieved my Mother’s death – I was like, we don’t see each other much anyway – I was in OK with Military related stuff, and she was in GA.
All the pain, all the hurt, all the effects of my Mother’s sickness and death had been sitting inside of me, in my soul, for a very long time!! And since I had not dealt with it, it manifested in my body!! I had an anxiety attack!! I NEVER want to have another one!! Paramedics could hardly read my pulse, I could hardly breath, severe pain in my chest, and left arm – it was scary and horrible!!
My Mother and I always had a chaotic relationship but I thank God we had made up before she died!! Otherwise, it would have been worse!! I probably would have had a heart attack!
My Mother did not raise me; my Great, Great Grandmother Lula McGrady did – she took me when I was about 2 years old and raised me until I was 17 years old! I thank God for Mama, that’s what I called her, taking me in – no telling where I have gone!! Mama died in 1973 and that devastated me!! For a very long time I was devastated by Mama’s death!!
Although my Mother and I had our share of issues, I can say today, and it took me most of my adult life to be able to say this, but I love my Mother, Mary Ruth Taylor and I miss her a lot!! I blamed her a long time for abandoning and rejecting me! But she didn’t, she loved me the best that she knew how!! It’s not her fault – I don’t blame her anymore!
My father, Johnnie Lee Hooks, passed in 2014 – we too had a chaotic relationship!! When I left GA after I graduated in 1970, to move to FL with my father, I had not seen him in 14 years – at the bus station, I didn’t know what he looked like, and vice versa!
Unfortunately, when he passed, I had not resolved my issues with him! But God is sooooo good and He loves me very much, that He let me know after my father died, what was the problem. I thought my father did not love me because it seemed as if he did not want to be bothered with me – he would disappear from my life and then pop back up! But God let me know, it was the Alzheimer’s – my father died from Alzheimer’s and stomach cancer and I never knew he was sick!! I did not find out he was sick until about a month or so before he died! That took a BIG load off me when I found out that it was not that he didn’t love me, it was the Alzheimer’s that kept him away from me! Now I can say, I REALLY love my father but he is not here to receive the love I have for him!!
I don’t normally share my personal testimonies but I believe God wanted me to share this with you all because someone needs to hear it!!
Don’t allow spats, angry words, unforgiveness, etc. to stop you from loving your parents NOW, while they are still alive, while they can receive your love, and you can receive theirs!! Don’t allow the devil to cheat you out of a loving relationship with your parents!!
It does not matter what your parents did, or you think they did to you as a child, forgive them!! They did the best they knew how to do!! Abuse it a learned behavior!! Most likely, if you were abused by your parents, they were abused by their parents!! They raised you how they were raised; that’s all they knew!! No, I don’t know you, or your parents, but I believe God is directing me to write what I am writing so ask Holy Spirit to show you if this message is for you! If not, ask Holy Spirit is there someone you can share it with! Also, join in prayer for parent’s and children’s relationship – that they be reconnected with other before it is too late!
If you have any alts or conflicts with your parents, you make the first move by making a conscious decision to forgive them!! Then ask God to help you to forgive, and love them!! You got to let that stuff GO!! It’s eating you alive!! That’s why you are sick, with all kinds of stuff going on in your body!! Stress, anxiety, etc. cause all kinds of issues, including depression!! LET IT GO!! God will help you but YOU MUST decide to let it go!! Right now, right where you are!! Just ask God to help you!! Love your parents, do right by them while they are alive!! Then you will have NO regrets when they pass!! ONLY YOU can stop the devil from wrecking havoc in your relationship with your parents!! You do that by forgiving them!! Don’t wait!! Tomorrow is not promised to anyone!!
I pray that God will heal your soul from EVERY traumatic event, that you have experienced, even in your Mother’s womb!! I pray that God will heal your emotions, and EVERY area of your life that needs to be healed, delivered, and restored!! I pray that God’s peace, will rest, rule, and guard your heart, keeping out all drama and chaos!! I pray your relationship with your parents be restored, and you love them with God’s unfailing love!! Father I thank You for healing, delivering, and restoring relationships between children and their parents, in Jesus’ Mighty Name, Amen!!
God’s Blessings to you all and your families!!